July 21, 1980
I finally get to start driving again today. Thank God, because I’ve been going crazy cooped up in this house. Luckily, I’ve been able to work, and that’s offered some slight variation in my day, but otherwise it’s been mostly just studying and watching TV. I’m not going to see my grandmother today, because with my two youngest aunts at home from school, it has become more difficult to covertly see her. That’s ok, she’ll still be there when they go back to school in the fall.
In my week of seemingly infinite free time, I’ve managed to do some strategizing on a few fronts. One of the goals that I’ve laid out for myself, has been to in some manner incorporate myself into my family, even if it’s only as a friend. I think that the best bet on this front is to befriend my father, and wait for the rest of it to slowly trickle in. He’s arguably the most suspicious, and so by getting him on my side, the rest becomes somewhat easier.
Now, figuring out how to best befriend him, that’s going to a more difficult situation. I’m not exactly sure how to go about that. I know that as of right now, he’s into motorcycles and cars… I’m not sure that’s my way in.
So, I set that issue aside for the time being, and began thinking about the other issue. How can I stop my family from dying, without creating a paradox that would erase my own time-travel, and render them dead all over again. It’s been in the back of my head since Dr. Troy told me that he was going to send me back here. Nearly a year of hard thought hadn’t earned me any clear answers, and, unfortunately, I’m not sure I get a test run on it.
One thing that I had managed to actually accomplish this past week, was start investing. I don’t have enough money to invest suspicious amounts, but if I’m going to try to alter time in such a fundamentally paradoxical manner, I figure, I’m going to need a lot of resources, but with thirty years I have no excuse to not get started.
I got a letter from Judy—it took me a moment to remember that Judy is Destiny.
How’re you doing?
I have to say, I’m not sure why you didn’t try to keep your real name when getting your papers. I thought maybe you were wanted in Canada, and you were trying to stay on the lam. You don’t have to answer that. If you’re wanted, I’m sure you didn’t do anything too bad. I’ve met a bunch of bad guys in my life, and I can tell you’re not one of them. I kind of imagine, you saw someone doing something bad, beating on his wife or something, and you stepped in and stopped it, and accidentally killed him. I don’t know, I just can’t imagine what you could’ve done…
If you’re ok with it, I was thinking maybe if the baby is a boy, I’d name it after you. Baby, Michael? Not Darren, that doesn’t feel like a baby’s name.
If it’s a girl, I’m thinking about Ramona. It means savior, and I think this baby has saved me. That would be a nice name don’t you think?
I hope that maybe you can come visit me after the baby is born, but I don’t want you to feel any pressure.
It was funny to think that she thought I was capable of endangering myself to help someone defenseless. I hadn’t been in a fight since high school, and I had never fared well. I decided not to tell her that, but did write her back immediately.
I’m really flattered that you’re thinking of naming your baby after me, but i think I would prefer it if you didn’t. Please don’t take that wrong, there would be no bigger honor for me, but I’m not sure what it means to the baby.
I’m not a junior, and when I asked my father once about it, he said “I figure that I needed to let you be your own person, and make your own mistakes, and live your own life.” He thought his name would be a burden to me, and I tend to agree. I won’t be upset if you do, but I want you to consider that before making that decision, please.
I will definitely plan on coming down to see you after the baby is born!
As for my reasons for changing my name, if I told you, I doubt you would believe me, so instead I’ll just say “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”
Seriously though, my reasons aren’t nefarious, but if you want to picture me as someone’s valiant knight, I’ll accept that!
I hope you’re feeling well, and have a great final trimester.