Tallahassee FL, 07/07/1980

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July 7, 1980

I am sitting in my assigned seat aboard American Airlines.  Melanie sat with me in the terminal until my flight boarded, which was strange.  When I was younger I’m pretty sure that was allowed, but I don’t remember.  Even when I went to Africa in 1998, my parents were able to get further into the airport, but I don’t remember it being to the terminal.  It was very strange sitting staring out the windows as the airplanes taxi back and forth holding her hand.

Apparently, since I wasn’t going to be able to come down until Friday night, Melanie had swung the 4th of July shift in order to have the weekend off.  We spent nearly the entire weekend on the beach in Wakulla.  I had been in awe of her body during the spring, but now, with a tan, and a bikini, I was lost in my lust for her.

Each night when we returned to her apartment, and I saw the milk-white flesh escape before she would wash the sand off of herself, contrasting the soft brown exposed skin that everyone had the pleasure of seeing, I would linger and stare before joining her.  Even now sitting in this chair, knowing it will be weeks or months before I see her again, I cannot escape that animal-pull from inside.

For some reason, since having talked to my grandmother, and having someone who knows what’s going on telling me to dive into love, has relieved a lot of of the reservations I’ve felt.  This weekend was the most relaxed and carefree time I’ve spent with Melanie, in fact it’s the most laid back since 2010, that I’ve felt.

Melanie must’ve felt something different in me, because as we sat in the terminal, holding hands, she laid her head on my shoulder, and whispered loud enough for me to hear but no one else, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”  I was lost in the moment, and absolutely meant it, and I squeezed her hand.

I surprised her by returning the affection, and she lifted her head and looked at me, and her eyes were filled with unreleased tears, so I kissed her and let them roll out onto her cheekbones.

We sat mostly in silence for the remaining moments until they started boarding my flight.  When they called my section to start boarding, we stood up and hugged.

“I love you, and I want to see you again soon.  Ok?” she asked into my ear.

“Of course.” I kissed her one last time.  “I love you.” Then I walked down the ramp.

 

I know that she’s going to be very busy the next couple weeks, and so I don’t expect to hear from her too often, but I’m planning on keeping myself busy in the interim.  I picked up an SAT prep book before I flew down, and I’m going to keep studying to prepare, so that hopefully I won’t have any issues in August when I have to take them.

I’m going to try to stop writing now, because the woman next to me keeps trying to read my journal as I scribble.  Plus, I could really use the sleep.

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